Saving myself...
Ugh, this is so hard.
I've been overweight my entire life but for most of that time losing weight was just about looking better or wanting to fit into nicer clothes or being able to snag a boyfriend, but it's not about those things anymore. I definitely weigh too much but going on a diet isn't just about being slim or looking good or wearing nice clothes now. It's become about my health, and at this point my health is in crisis. I'm pre-diabetic with severe insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome, I'm on two different blood pressure prescriptions and something for depression. I have both a hiatal hernia and an umbilical hernia. I have messed up my knees, hips, and back. I can't stand for longer than five minutes and I can't walk farther than fifty feet without shortness of breath, pain, and discomfort. Walking around the grocery store is barely doable, let alone going to Costco, taking a family walk on the beach near our house, or teaching my daughter how to ride a bicycle. In the last five years I have gained so much weight and gotten so broken and beat down with inflammation and pain it's become like an ever-tightening noose around my life. It's so much weight that now I can't even bring myself to step on a scale.
Last January I was sent into an emotional tailspin from the sudden passing of one of my dearest friends. She had a vibrant personality who drew people to her like moths to a flame, but just like me she was severely overweight. She was in her mid-fifties, about ten years older than me, and I've always had this secret thought that as long as she could be morbidly obese but alive and active then there was still some hope for me too. Needless to say her death came as a shock, not just because I love her and wished we could spend more time together, but also because now I have to look at myself and at what time might be left on my own clock. I'm in my late-forties and I don't want to live with the possibility that I only have 8-10 years left. I know everyone's different, but as a benchmark my friend's life is the best information I have to go on. I think if she were here she would agree and she would support my decision to use her life as a cautionary tale if it helps motivate me to make the changes to get better and live longer. I have too much to do, too much to see, and I want to be here for my own daughter who I know will need me more than ever and the wisdom I gained through my own late-teen experiences just as we're approaching that 8-10 year mark.
I've got to make a change, to save myself and to be here for my daughter, and I'm making it RIGHT NOW.
Tomorrow: Why the low-carb diet is the only one for me.
I've been overweight my entire life but for most of that time losing weight was just about looking better or wanting to fit into nicer clothes or being able to snag a boyfriend, but it's not about those things anymore. I definitely weigh too much but going on a diet isn't just about being slim or looking good or wearing nice clothes now. It's become about my health, and at this point my health is in crisis. I'm pre-diabetic with severe insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome, I'm on two different blood pressure prescriptions and something for depression. I have both a hiatal hernia and an umbilical hernia. I have messed up my knees, hips, and back. I can't stand for longer than five minutes and I can't walk farther than fifty feet without shortness of breath, pain, and discomfort. Walking around the grocery store is barely doable, let alone going to Costco, taking a family walk on the beach near our house, or teaching my daughter how to ride a bicycle. In the last five years I have gained so much weight and gotten so broken and beat down with inflammation and pain it's become like an ever-tightening noose around my life. It's so much weight that now I can't even bring myself to step on a scale.
Last January I was sent into an emotional tailspin from the sudden passing of one of my dearest friends. She had a vibrant personality who drew people to her like moths to a flame, but just like me she was severely overweight. She was in her mid-fifties, about ten years older than me, and I've always had this secret thought that as long as she could be morbidly obese but alive and active then there was still some hope for me too. Needless to say her death came as a shock, not just because I love her and wished we could spend more time together, but also because now I have to look at myself and at what time might be left on my own clock. I'm in my late-forties and I don't want to live with the possibility that I only have 8-10 years left. I know everyone's different, but as a benchmark my friend's life is the best information I have to go on. I think if she were here she would agree and she would support my decision to use her life as a cautionary tale if it helps motivate me to make the changes to get better and live longer. I have too much to do, too much to see, and I want to be here for my own daughter who I know will need me more than ever and the wisdom I gained through my own late-teen experiences just as we're approaching that 8-10 year mark.
I've got to make a change, to save myself and to be here for my daughter, and I'm making it RIGHT NOW.
Tomorrow: Why the low-carb diet is the only one for me.
Hey lady. I just wanted you to know that I read this and that I'm supporting you from all the way down here! You can do it, Aimee. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks Addie! Hope we get to see each other again before our kids are grown. :)
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